The new year is knocking. Time to break out your goals for self-improvement and… eh, forget it. For most of us, these things won't live to see the Superbowl half-time show. This year, why not be honest with ourselves and embrace our ever-increasing laziness? Call it maximizing our efficiency, if it makes you feel better.
Luckily there is a slew of tech entrepreneurs (wunderkinds and wannabes alike) out to help us on this noble mission. Below is an extreme use case–call it a lesson in laziness–on how to harness a bunch of "Uber for" apps to get through your day without getting out of bed. I think there's fifteen apps, but who has the energy to count them all?
Strong sunlight wakes you at 10:20 am. Starving, you flail for your new Apple Apple iPhone 6 and open the GrubHub app–after a few taps your breakfast burrito ($ 15 with tip) is on the way. Back in the day, you had to worry about getting up and answering the door, but last week you installed a $ 199 Kevo deadbolt. The Bluetooth-powered lock comes with an app that lets you send eKeys to people as easy as sending a text. You control how long the eKey is active with the deadbolt–since most of the people entering the house today are strangers, best to make the keys one-use-only.
The burrito delivered and devoured, you start to write your next next tech story on your iPhone via WordPress but you feel too full to write. Why not watch a little TV while you digest? The remote is all the way on the other side of the room, so you just open your WatchESPN app and catch the latest Sports Center. The game highlights only remind you how miserable it is to be a New York football fan this year. You switch to an old Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO GO to cheer yourself up.
The Apple iPhone: the ultimate tool for efficiency–and pure laziness
OK, the deadline for your tech story approaches. But as you attempt to write a headline you look around and realize your apartment is filthy. You open home service app Handy and book a two-hour cleaning for $ 54. An hour later a cleaner gets to work on the kitchen floor and bedroom rug.
Once the vacuuming stops, you attempt a catchy headline when you hear a loud bark–it's Rufus, your 150-pound Great Dane. You forgot to walk him again. If you don't act fast, you'll have to summon the Handy cleaner again. Good thing there's Swifto–New York's own dog walking app. You book a thirty minute walk for $ 35 bucks and give poor Rufus some needed relief.
Finally, you swear you'll get this tech story done, but lying in bed all day gets lonely. Tinder to the rescue. You swipe through a hundred potential dates. You get a few connections and tell them about your lazy app experiment. Everyone thinks you're a weirdo, but then, match #21 is intrigued. You convince your Tinder match that you're a normal person, at least as normal as tech writers get. Your new digital pal agrees to stop over on the way home from work to see how you're pulling off this app trial.
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